Jay Smooth breaks it down again

I got back from the inauguration last night and immediately fell into bed. I’m too tired to write today, but tomorrow I promise my story of the day, plus pictures. For now, watch Jay Smooth get to the heart of things in typically awesome fashion.

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That guy

So. You’ve been dating this guy—pretend you’re into guys—for a couple months and the two of you are spending all your time in your apartment because the chemistry’s so great—you rarely even bother to go on dates, in fact—but things outside the bedroom are progressing slowly and he’s a little aloof because he just got out of a bad relationship. And you’re a little smitten, sure, but not, like, head-over-heels, and anyway it’s OK, you can be patient. And he’s met a few of your friends but you haven’t met any of his, and you’ve dropped a couple hints about it but you’re trying not to be pushy because, you know, bad relationship. And one day he says, “Sorry, babe,”—he’s the kind of guy who says “babe”—”I have to cancel our plans for tonight. One of my buddies is moving to another state and a bunch of us are having this going-away thing and I’ll be out ’til the bars close.” And you go, “Well, we were just going to grab a beer anyway, and I’d really love to meet your friends, so why don’t I just come along? At least for an hour, just so I can say hello and learn some names.” And he says, “Oh, babe, I don’t know if that’s such a great idea. I’ll tell you what, though: You can come over my apartment tomorrow, maybe meet my roommate if he’s around.” And in that moment you realize not only that he isn’t dating you at all, he’s just using you, but also that he thinks you’re so dumb you won’t realize it and so shallow that you can be bought off with such a pathetic and obvious sop. You, of course, are insulted and infuriated because this condescending bullshit is so much worse than if he’d just frankly told you, “Babe, I only bring people I’m serious about to meet my friends.” So maybe you yell at him some, maybe you just tell him to get the hell out of your house, but you sure as shit never call his sorry ass again.

You hate that guy, right? Everybody hates that guy. Even his friends hate him a little for what he does to people who care about him, who think he cares back.

So, Barack Obama, why do you want to be that guy?

We’ll have a gay old time

I will never apologize for my open homer-ism about life in New England, especially when it seems like every week my home region gives me another reason to cheerlead.

AUGUSTA, Maine—State Sen. Dennis Damon is introducing a bill to end the prohibition on gay marriage in Maine. House Republican Josh Tardy, meanwhile, is proposing to bolster the state law restricting marriage to one man and one woman by making it a constitutional amendment.

The dueling proposals ensure that gay marriage will be hotly debated this legislative session.

As it stands, Maine has a domestic partnership registry that’s open to gay couples. But that’s not enough for gay marriage supporters. Damon says it’s time to “fully end discrimination in Maine.”

Gay marriage is being debated elsewhere in the region.

In New Hampshire, a bill’s been submitted to replace the term “civil union” with “marriage” in the state’s 1-year-old civil union law. Vermont, the first state to recognize same-sex couples with its civil unions law, is now likely to consider a gay marriage bill.

Tardy’s competing bill is admittedly depressing, but I think Damon’s has a fighting chance. Maine is more Republican than the rest of New England, but that’s mostly due to fiscal conservativism. If you want to help things along, you can email Senator Damon to tell him you support his measure or (politely!*) ask Representative Tardy not to enshrine bigotry in the state constitution. Obviously this is especially important for constituents, but even if you’re not a Mainer it’s still valuable to let those on the side of equality know they’re not alone, and let those trying to legislate hate know that their bigotry won’t be condoned.

If things go well, marriage equality could be the status quo in five out of six New England states by the end of the year. What’s up with you laggers in Rhode Island? Get with the program!

*I say “politely” because although I know outrage over this issue is absolutely warranted, feeding someone’s fantasy that they’re a persecuted crusader for an unpopular moral right just encourages them to never accept defeat.

Great news!

Update: Paycheck Fairness Act and Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act pass House!

Blago impeached!

New “Target Women”!

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And I think my writer’s block may finally be breaking up!

Hey, remember me?

Ginger snaps and coffeeI’m sorry for my long silence. Life is stressful for me right now, so I’ve been doing what I always do when I’m stressed: alternately baking and hiding under the bed. All this baking and consuming of ginger snaps (Pictured at right. Tip: Use them as biscotti!), lemon squares, lacy oatmeal sandwich cookies, snickerdoodles, and tiny soufflés, among other things, has left very little time for writing.

But even from under my bed, I cannot entirely escape blogging, as evidenced by the fact that I keep Taboo-ing blog fodder.

Like the story of this massive creepazoid, a serial groper of young girls on public transportation. One quick-thinking high schooler snapped a photo of him with her cell phone camera and, after learning from friends that she was far from his only victim, turned it over to the police. He was tracked down quickly and, even more amazingly, actually convicted. If only he’d been sentenced to more than 25 hours of community service and 2 years’ probation my joy would be complete.

And this story in Slate, wherein the openly Catholic author trumps up the danger of Catholic hospitals closing should President Obama do anything so radical as ratify the Freedom of Choice Act, thereby codifying Roe v. Wade and protecting it somewhat from the current sustained attacks by people who really don’t like it when women control their own internal organs. After noting that many Catholic hospitals are in low-income, under-served communities, she argues against the passage of FOCA as if it should be obvious to all readers that the group threatening to shut down hospitals for the needy—which, by the by, are staffed and run primarily by lay-people—so that no woman should receive complete medical care on their watch is indisputably in the right, and that the group attempting to protect the rights of half the population to decide upon their medical care without the help of the Nosy Nancy down the street are clearly the assholes.

And my deep ambivalence over Hillary Clinton’s acceptance of the Secretary of State position. I’m sure she’ll do a great job, but I was really looking forward to having her as Senate Majority Leader, and now I fear we may be stuck with several more years of Harry Reid’s asshattery.

Clearly there’s nothing for it but to attempt to post semi-regularly again, even if it’s only quick hits and food porn.

My new favorite phrase: President-elect Barack Obama

President-elect Barack ObamaThere are a few important races still too close to call, and some extremely disappointing results in some states, but today I don’t care about that. Tomorrow, I will care. Today I’m just going to revel in this amazing feeling and not think about the disappointments. There aren’t a lot of opportunities in life to be this happy, and I don’t intend to ruin one of them.

Every time I think about it I giggle like an insane person because I can’t smile wide enough to express my joy.

President-elect Barack Obama.

We did a good thing, America.

I voted!

They don’t give out stickers at my polling place, unfortunately, but I voted. It’s a glorious day in Boston, and I breezed in and out in under 15 minutes.

When I got there, there was only one person ahead of me in line, but all the booths were full. The poll-workers were great—quick, friendly, on the ball. The biggest hitch was that the scanner jammed briefly—so many ballots already!—but the cop checking off names joked around with the people in line and the machine was quickly fixed. On the way out, I got a free Marty Walsh pen (dunno why he was trying so hard; he was running unopposed) and I got exit-polled on my voting experience by some college kids working on a school project. I think I was home again half an hour after I left.

Of course, because I work from home, I had the freedom to go while most people were at work, which helped a lot. Last time there was an eloquent black man at the top of the ticket turnout was so strong that many polling places, including mine, ran out of ballots. (Your humble blogger is actually in the photo that accompanies that story.) That day it took me about two hours to vote. This year, Boston’s election chief promises, “I will have enough ballots for everyone to vote three times.” I hope so.

So what’s your voting story? Lines? Easy-breezy? How’s the weather where you are?