Hmm, which stilettos go with running for my life?

I was never much bothered by the horror/monster/disaster movie trope of women fleeing from the danger du jour only to be tripped up by their pathetically impractical shoes. I chose instead to take it as an object lesson in why heels are bad for you: Not only do they damage ankles and knees, they also dramatically increase a person’s chances of being stomped flat by a giant dinosaur. Frankly, that’s just not a risk I’m willing to take.

What always really bothered me was that women who started the movie in dangerously unstable stilettos always ended the movie in dangerously unstable stilettos, no matter how many opportunities they’d had to take them off or swap them for something more comfortable. I almost got kicked out of Cloverfield for hissing to my heartily embarassed boyfriend (who, by the way, would be too busy saving his own ass if Godzilla attacked to worry about whether me and my strappy platform sandals were keeping up), “Seriously, they are in a department store! Why don’t those those poor women take some sneakers?” Ever since, I’ve been carrying around a pocketful of brownie points for the first movie to actually show a woman grabbing some walking shoes at first opportunity.

That movie, apparently, is the Sci-Fi Channel original Basilisk: The Serpent King. It is exactly as terrible as you think it is, and the villain is basically a sexed-up version of the Power Rangers bad gal Rita Repulso, but, dagnabbit, after a showdown in the mall, that woman ditches her heels, snags herself a pair of running shoes, and high-tails it for less reptiley climes, as any sensible person would do.

So congratulations, Sci-Fi Channel, your brownie points should arrive in 4-6 weeks. Also, please find enclosed $5 to double your special effects budget.


2 Responses

  1. I hear that! I was profoundly happy when Quantum of Solace ‘Bond girl’ Camille arrived wearing Converse hi-tops and kicking ass

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