Bad blogger, bad!

Having driven off both of my readers (hi, mom!) with two months of non-posting, I wish I could at least offer a good excuse for my indolence. But, alack, all I can tell you is that I’ve been trapped in a vicious cycle: I keep putting off blogging because I have so much schoolwork to do, and I keep putting off schoolwork because I’m an inveterate procrastinator. Today I realized that since I’ll clearly never finish my homework, I may as well blog. So without further ado…

Dear Mr. Sorkin,

I’m sorry, but I just can’t see you anymore. I’m sure this comes as a shock. I know we’ve been together a long time—ten years now—and you probably thought that anyone who watched more than three episodes of Studio 60 would never leave you. And it’s not that I stopped loving your snappy dialog and your witty characters, or even that I’ve lost patience with your heavy-handed moralism or self-congratulatory use of polysyllabic words and little-known historical factoids. No, the problem is that the only thing I managed to do over Spring Break was download and watch all 45 episodes of Sports Night, which led me to the inescapable conclusion that you’re a Nice GuyTM.

I can’t believe I missed it until now. I’ve always had concerns about your female characters, sure, but I chalked up the unlikeliness of their love interests to social awkwardness and a touch of Gary Stu syndrome on the part of their author. Besides, I told myself, much could be forgiven in someone who consistently wrote smart, strong women, even if they did turn into gibbering idiots when it came to the objects of their affection. But Danny’s creepy, creepy, relentless, unwanted, and super-creepy pursuit of Jordan on Studio 60 raised concerns I couldn’t ignore. And with those already in mind, the Nice GuyTM-ness of Dan Rydell’s pursuit of Rebecca Wells was just too obvious to ignore. I mean, really: Flawed but fundamentally kind sportscaster Dan meets Rebecca, who initially rejects him for sharing an occupation with her asshole ex-husband. After he overcomes her objections and falls head-over-heels, she cruelly spurns him in order to get back together with her asshole ex-husband. Later, when she comes crawling back, Dan cruelly spurns her in order to punish her for the horrible crime of not appreciating the glory and all-around niceness of Aaron Dan. It’s Nice GuyTM 101.

So, Mr. Sorkin,—Aaron—until you realize that behaving decently toward a woman does not obligate her to sleep with you, I just don’t think I can watch any more of your shows. You could try taking a women’s studies class. You could try being nice to women with no ulterior motive and see how that goes. You could try hanging out with Joss Whedon, if he’ll put up with you. But you have to do something. Until then,

A cordial adieu from
the Boston Brahmina

P.S. It’s really, really not me. It’s you. Seriously.

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