SotU: The Many Faces of Nancy Pelosi

If you want serious coverage of Bush’s last State of the Union ever, look elsewhere. If, however, you want a catalogue of the faces Nancy Pelosi is pulling over Bush’s right-hand shoulder, I’m your blogger.

9:08: Keeeeep talking, frat boy. Just wait ’til I release the badgers! (Re: veiled 9/11 talk.)

9:12: My eyes, they hurt from rolling so hard. (Re: Making tax breaks permanent.)

9:16: “Keep your medical decisions private.” Gee, where’ve I heard that before? Certainly not from the Supreme Court in regards to the legal right to abortion. (Re: Single-payer healthcare is eeeeevil.)

9:21: Dick, was… that your foot? Your shoeless foot?

9:23: Maybe I can bore a hole in this desk with my eyes.  (Re: The free market will solve global warming.)

9:27: I’m playing SotU: The Home Game! Follow along in the pre-printed text of the speech and count the errors! I’m already up to 47!

9:28: Heeeeey, Breyer. What’re you doing later? Wanna grab a ‘za? (Re: Activist judges.)

9:32: 358 more days, 358 more days, 358 more days… (Re: Charity donations will fix all social problems.)

9:35: My cheeks are killing me. Why didn’t I get my polite face Botoxed into place like everyone else? (Re: Immigration.)

9:38: I’m up to 63 in the SotU:HG. What’s everyone else got? (Re: Turrrrrism.)

9:42: All right, if Dick’s just gonna sit there looking like a robot, I’m not going to keep breaking my face pretending to look interested. (Re: The surge is totes working, you guys.)

9:44: OK, who’s the wiseass who yelled that? (Re: Shouted comment at the end of standing O.)

9:46: What time is it? Oh God, it hasn’t even been an hour?!?!?  (Re: Pay for my war, Congressmonkeys!)

9:47: *Snerfle* I’ll believe it when I see it. (Re: 20,000 troops coming home.)

9:48: Does Dick ever blink? God, it makes my eyes dry just looking at him. Aaaaand now I’m doing that constant-blinking thing again. Great.

9:50: 9:50? Four minutes have passed? OK, I’m putting “order a new clock” at the top of tomorrow’s agenda. (Re: I’m all over that whole Israel-Palestine thing.)

9:52: “Nukular” again! That brings me up to 76 on the SotU:HG. (Re: Iran.)

9:54: Don’t look at me, Dick.

9:57: Wait, are we standing or not? Because I thought we— yeah, OK, we’re standing. (Re: Genocide bad.)

9:57: Dick, get your grody-ass foot away from me.

9:58: Yes, Dick, we stand for AIDS funding. God, you think they’d’ve programmed you to at least feign concern for human problems. (Re: Money for AIDS.)

10:00: What? Oh, we’re standing again. That was such a poorly written sentence I didn’t realize it was over. (Re: Honoring vets.)

10:01: OK, the last two minutes alone have given me another 17 points in SotU:HG.

10:02: Woo! It’s over! I never have to do this again!

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3 Responses

  1. Hahaha! Exactly what I was thinking. She was more interesting than the speech itself. 😀

  2. Madame Speaker was more interesting before the speech started than Bush was all night. 😉

  3. Beautiful.

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